actual email received by a mate

just thought i would share

Hey dude, have you heard anything about a scene called “Fixie” Racing.
Just getting into it, apparently it started in Tokyo about a year ago… crews race Fixies across the city,
People show how many races they’ve won and how much respect they have by putting playing cards in their spokes.

Apparently it’s getting bigger and there’s a pretty big scene in Sydney.
I heard if you have one of the bikes with cards in the spokes without winning a race you get proper beatdowns.
The bikes are super light and have no brakes or anything.

There’s crews popping up all over the world now,
I’ve seen a few of the bikes around they’re really distinctive

The most perfect email has now been composed. I wouldn’t be surprised if it crashes the gmail server.

removes spokecards from rear wheel

F.U.C.K. Y.E.S. Who is this genius and why isn’t he the CEO of


ralph lauren fixies, nice.

Bike on the left, DOG’S BREAKFAST.

Anyway, shouldn’t Ralph Lauren bikes be polo steeds?

ftfy 678910

Does your mate live here?

come on, as if he’s not taking the piss.

then again, sometimes there’s no piss-take scarier than the real world itself.

im not even joking, i would post up the whole email with the headers etc but i kind of feel sorry for the guy who sent it

this pic was also attached :

sigged, thx.

^^ now everyone will think that (s)he was the one that wrote that!!

i have probably had worse things quoted that i have actually said

we have to give proper beatdowns to dudes with playing cards in their spokes now? i’m not sure what this means for ye-olde royal flush alleycat then

ghost bike!!!

shit i didn’t even see that bike. i thought it was just a chain on a ring and some toe straps infront of a wall. what the fuck.

all in brawl i guess…!?

no mention of skids, potato, pop it up, or xXmissed connectionsXx. // reclaim the shame // woo

for the truly post-modern fungus consumer who is already dead

I’d just like to say that I was the approximately the 4th person to receive this email (via alexb618 and -tim). I felt dirty, angry and upset and I then I LOL’ed.