all points bulletin

I can’t stay out of trouble. This was this morning - can I just say that if you’re in town and someone in a silver A-Class Merc (the little ones) does something stupid near you, keep your distance and approach only with D-lock unholstered. shiver


this morning as i was turning R out of the S end of Brunswick St into
Victoria Pde, a … motorist … who’s just behind me in the
traffic, decides to execute a lane change from centre to left lane, just as he comes level with me, mid turn. I swerve to avoid collision. “That moon unit nearly collided
with me”, I thought. “I’ll let him know.”

“Did that feel better? You nearly hit me.” was all I <i>swear</i> I
said, through the open passenger side window. There was no-one else in
the car. The music turned up to 11, combined with the driving ‘style’
(and I use the term loosely) should have warned me.

“WHAT THE F$#$!? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?” explodes moon unit. “COME
HERE YOU F#$% C@#T!”

“Ruh roh”, I think to myself. And Moon reverses back from the lights
at gisborne and victoria and attempts to ram me. follows me down
gisborne and actually gets out of his car just before albert (opp. the fire station).

runs after me down the street but then goes back to his car and

chases me

into the city

down collins

u-turns on collins as I’m on the S footpath at this stage heading W
again - and I u-turn again and lose him just near the Reserve Bank.

What. The. Forks.

No, I didn’t get the rego. I was too busy trying not to die.

Sounds a lot like the guy Andy took the cars keys from. Not very nice either way :confused:

I just felt bad afterwards because I could have just let him go off and be a fuckstick somewhere else – or for someone else? Now I presume he’s going to be more of a problem for everyone else so I just wanted to post a heads up - and a 'sorry ‘bout that’ if he starts running into people.

WTF am I doing. His behaviour is his responsibility. I just hope the next person he tries that shit with is a little quicker with the ‘li’l dentist’ toolkit.

Do you have a link for the ‘took keys’ story?

<i>self-medicating</i> right now, IYKWIM, AITYD

Holy shit that sounds bad. I ride up there every morning too. I’ll be wary of A class Mercs that’s for sure…<i>gets D lock ready in hand</i>…

Yeah I ride through there most mornings aswell, best be careful of middle class dicks who drive Mercedes hatchbacks…why bother with an A-Class??

What is it with wogs and cas… I mean being fuckwits? at least he didnt pull a gun on you or some lame shit. Maybe you should have ridden to the cop shop and seen how keen he was then.

Merc drivers are dicks anyways… But you should go give a description to the cops.

Fuck you Tim. I used to own one :slight_smile: Does the fact that it was a beautiful classic 1967 model make more or less of a dick :wink:

an A class is a poor mans merc, maybe he had some self esteem issues.

Fuck dude, glad you’re alright. It doesn’t seem to take much to set some people off in peak hour traffic. I had a P Plater do a kamikaze turn in front of me in to a car park today that would’ve made Craig Lowndes blush. I was angry, but then I saw the front of her car do a faceplant in to the driveway and that put a smile on my face.

Also been hit by a Mercedes before - Mr Magoo driving a silver S Class couldn’t figure out what that blinky blinky flashy flashy thing in the dark was I guess.

I think he was driving his girlfriend’s (or his mum’s!) car while his was impounded. The o/ o/ nnnSSSh nnnSSSh nnnSSSh o/ o/ didn’t suit the vehicle at all.

I was just thinking last night, it was one of those classic ‘where’s a cop when you need one?’ scenarios - and I rode right past at least two.

There are always, always, cops at the State Parliament. All I had to do was ‘bitch, be cool!’ and turn right at Spring and then roll up the driveway that goes halfway up the steps.

The Moar You Know ™

We were talking Modern A class - the rich grannys car. So probably, less of a dick. :stuck_out_tongue:

reminds me of an incident I had a while back… though I think I may have provoked the guy, just a bit :smiley:

This was in the evening… after sunset

I pulled up to a stop sign on a quiet residential street at the same
time as a guy in a small hatchback. He’s on my right and indicating to
turn left, while I’m in the middle of the lane and going straight
through; I give him a fairly non confrontational “oi!” to make sure
he doesn’t run over me (no excuse for not seeing me, I have some
blindingly bright rear lights)

His response is “get fucked ya poofter!” and he continues to turn in
front of me; so I give a loud rap on his rear quarter panel with my
knuckles as he drives off. The fact that I didn’t even need to move or
lean over to do this demonstrates how close the guy was.

Now, as you all know, ya can’t touch a boofheads car! He stops in
the middle of the intersection, jumps out and starts abusing me. I
ride off in front of the car, and the idiot gives chase on foot.

My words of encouragement (“how fast can you run you fat bastard?”)
didn’t seem to spur him on, so he runs back to his car while I
continue on down the road.

A couple of blocks later, I notice he’s in hot pursuit as I hit a
medium sized single lane roundabout (about 30m in diameter). I figure
I can’t outrun a car, so I keep circling the roundabout, keeping him
on the other side of the island. After the third circuit (just when
its starting to get amusing), his brain clicks into gear and he stops
dead… at which point I exited behind him and made a hasty retreat
down a back street.

bah what is this guy going to do?

I find if you stop and go “ok, so lets go” they usually arent so keen to continue the argument. They are just yelling and think that will work. Obviously the caveat on this is if they have a weapon or if they just plain psycho :stuck_out_tongue:

anyone got a link to the andy and the keys story? i remember it being very hilarious.

Just remember two little legal points, before you invite him to fight. If you feel threatened by the behaviour, it’s assault, even if he hasn’t hit you. The moment you issue the invitation to fight, you’ve lost an assault case against him - yes, you asked for it. Better off to tell him you are reporting him to the police for assault, and that he wouldn’t want to make it worse by actually hitting you. Then you’ll find out how sane or psycho he is.

good point!!!

i wasn’t aware of that.

So what is an “invitation to fight”? Is it subjective interpretation ie him just saying “he stirred me up by what he said” or a literal interpretation ie me going “have a crack then”?

I am sure we have a story to tell about some yobbo in their 4 wheeled masculinity tool.
But I will share mine as well.

I was riding nth along chapel 1 night after a training ride (i know stupid idea but a great perve)
anyway this tool drives straight past (same direction) me with his indicators on and turns left into a car park and I am on the anchors big time and manage to half jump the gutter etc anyway they look quite confused that I am just gathering myself and I just pointed out that perhaps he could have just let me ride past the park and then just pull in behind me (not quite so politely) and anyway this big yobbo jumps out of the car sticks his man boobs (chest) out and tells me to f#ck off which I sort of do but just the complete lack of consideration that THEY have actually caused an ACCIDENT of sorts just pisses me right off, like a few examples earlier, but I bet if we had all been driving a car these turkeys would be quite so keen to shape up!

Leads me to another story.

Anyone heard the story of the fairly big bloke who owns a bike shop in blackrock riding down nepean highway one day/night anyway I am told this idiot in a car yells or throws something at the group anyway this bike shop owner takes off after the car and catches him at the lights and grabs the drivers seat belt and wraps it around his neck… if you know the bloke I am talking about that would be pretty fricken scarey!!

enough from me

No, most of us aren’t aware of that. My son waved a fist at the yelling bogans in the passing car and probably yelled something suitable in return, prior to said bogans coming back and roughing him up. The interviewing cop said it would probably be OK, and the defence barrister failed to raise it. The cop said if he had issued a clear invitation to fight (whatever that is), he wouldn’t have bothered with the charge.

Convicted, small penalty, large legal fee - silly twat should have apologised and been done with it.