Bike Police

Has anyone had a run in with these guys/girls so far?
talk of your stories,

I assume its the same bunch patrolling most days. Are they ok?

do they not like brakeless fixed riders?

i was trackstanding on Swanston at Lonsdale lights yesterday arvo and 3 of them rode past and i wondered what it would be like to get chased or booked by them.
I happen to see them more in the Hudsons coffee under uni on elizabeth than i do out on the rode.

I always thought that bike police would be cooler, like the ones on that TV show Pacific Blue.

i heard they have to rotate new bike police in every six months, so more people get a shot.

i’m not sure if they were bike cops but a couple months ago a friend of mine got fined for not having a brake!

They booked me once, after running the red on the corner of Bourke & Swanston, I pulled over to lock my bike up. Instead of the $110 fine, they just fined me for not having a bike bell, $20. Fair nough.

I asked if it was true that their bikes have a cop engine, cop tyres, cop shocks and cop brakes… just like the Bluesmobile. They just gave me the cop stare.

In StKilda once I was perving on a super spunky bike cop, when she pulled over, took out her hand cuffs, tapped one onto a streat sign pole, the other onto her top tube, and walked off. I was in louuvve.

Is that standard operating procedure?

I saw two of them pull over a car and book it for running a red. Sweet juicy justice.

Yep, I fall in love with most girls that ride a bicycle.

“Yep, I fall in love with most girls that ride a bicycle.”

Ditto on that

I mentioned this a couple of months ago when I was seeing them every day. There only focus is helmets, if they catch you without a helmet they may bring up other issues (no brakes) but if you have a helmet they won’t pull you over. I have ridden past them many times and they look once, identify helmet, then lose interest.

From my spy work, they cannot ride at all, and I would fancy not only myself but pretty much anyone to outrun them. They always seem to ride in the lowest gear possible, one guy was spinning out crossing the road to fine a helmetless BMX rider. In typical police fashion, they also do not seem interested in various crimes occuring in the street, as their task for the day is to fine people with no helmets.

My advice-wear a helmet and you will have zero dramas with them. If you don’t wear a helmet, pretend you haven’t seen them trying to stop you and do a runner, they will not even come close to catching you.

my advice for what it’s worth:
the law sez you need all of the following for a roadworthy bike:

  • at least one brake, be it coaster brake, or one brake lever, front or rear, doesn’t matter
  • front white passive reflector
  • rear red passive reflector
    (this is why all bike shop bikes - well most of the entry ones at least - have them)
  • bell
  • active red rear light after dusk, vis. min 50m away (not sure about that distance)
  • active white front light after dusk, ditto
  • Australian safety standard number shmurble burble approved helmet (although from the sound of things the cops wouldn’t notice if you had an icecream container held on with string - i saw one bloke doing this years ago. the only positive thing it was doing was improving his visibility.)

the point is though, if you come out guns blazing and full of sassy attitude, they can and will run you in for any and all of the above once they subject you to closer scrutiny. I guess the missing helmet is the red flag that indicates there might be a whole passel of fines to be racked up. cha-chingg! cough quotas.

what’s funny is if you’ve really pissed them off, and you can’t produce ID, they’ll nick you for that. Detain you until you can prove your identity if they have a reasonable belief you’ve provided false information. But they have to charge you with something first. Remember to say “What am I being charged for?” – that is, after you’ve provided your name and address – verbally is fine – 'cause there ain’t no law that says you gotta carry ID everywhere. “Papieren!” Not Yet.

comedy ‘or you can make a run for it’ option of course.

MarkB: Imitation is the insincerest form of flattery - why not pick up a pair of half-decent cuffs from Mitchells opposite Greater Union on Russell and show off the next time you see her? :wink:

edit: Cops drove this guy to Hunter.S.Thompson-esque prose …

Alex - we’ve tried that “common-sense” type stuf on this forum before… It just doesn’t work. So what you have to do is pick some police cop reference term - like “police woman bike”, google image search and post the resulting image. Eg:

how do I stood track?


I’ve just won this game.

One of my friends got hastled about her helmet not being up to whatever standard. I think it was for kayaking or something.


I dunno about that Spud. I think CHiPs might beat Aerospoke.


+1. nice work pavlis.

give them a break. you’d be a callus arsehole if you had to deal with the scum of society all day every day. wear a helmet, obey road rules, get some lights and stop crying. it’s not their fault the government wants to protect you from your own stupidity.
there are some utter arseholes around as you’d expect in any job that involves power and responsibility but if you treat them like people you they might choose to overlook all you violations.

hate the game, not the players. they’re just enforcing the laws made by other people.

I seem them occasionally rolling around at work, they’re always friendly if you say hi on your way past. I’ve heard they’re not taken seriously by the rest of the ``force" which sucks a bit. I’ve never seen them care about brakeless track bikes, they look and checkout your bike though that’s about it. Would be a pissa to be in a chase with them, though not in my best interests to piss dudes off that I have to share the roads with all day (or for the 3 hours or so that they work).

P.S. I’m pro choice, I refuse to let anyone protect me from myself (stupid or not).