Felt catches on...

In what is quite possibly the most ridiculous market response to the popularity of fixies, Felt have released <a href=“http://www.feltracing.com/08/product.asp?catid=1504,1525&pid=8717”>this monster</a>.
It has to be seen to be believed!

Felt top tube pad - WTF?!!!
“Felt Dispatch Axle Nut Tool: Chrome-Moly 15mm tool to remove axle nuts with bottle opener for liquid refreshment while fixing flat tire.”

God help us…

wow think of all the money we could save on pockets by simply bolting all our tools directly on to the bike

I’m going to buy one and chase you around DISC on it, 'ratio. Then I gunna paddle your arse with the top-tube pad, whilst you’re in your sexy lycra skin-suit. Then we’ll get drunk and I will laugh at you when you puke.

Sounds like a plan Craig, does Tuesday after DISC racing suit? :evil:
riding on DISC would be a bad idea with 172.5mm cranks though, especially the horrible lazy geometry, aggghh I hate this bike.
They’re smart though this FELT crew, even picking up on NJS-freaks obsession with Gold anodised Hubs etc…

That’s hideous. Maybe it’s an early April Fool’s joke.

i’d be convinced if it wasn’t for the seat and toptube pad

and whenever you lock it up you’ve got to take the spanner off and carry it around so no-one unbolts and steals your wheels?

Rumour that long cranks on DISC (or other indoor tracks) is dangerous is false.
I was doing madison slings with Joe a week ago with my 175’s on.
Even going slowly round the bends I didn’t clip a pedal.

My brother used to ride 175s with no problem, disc and voda are steep hence you need to keep the speed up more so than a flatter concrete track, more speed equals more perpendicular to the track and less worries about clearance.

It seems FELT have an argyle thing going!

Rhino, I wonder if you were perhaps somewhat responsible for this? hahaha

where do i get one?

With all due respect Steve, I can’t see you riding a bike with a top-tube protector! :evil:
Having said that, it would be hilarious to see you on one.

i’m sure i’ve got a tool here to remove it

Yeah, I was just thinking, I reckon that Kit is for the new slipstream team which looks to be hosting quite a few aussies, combining golf and cycling fashion is a pretty ordinary idea I would have thought.

What is wrong with a top-tube protector anyway. I’m going to get one of the “skin grows back” ones, in ‘man-sexual’ pink.

jesus fucking christ!

now i have to go wash my eyeballs with acid.
thanks for that.

just when i was hoping the ridiculous tide of toss pots and fuck heads that had jumped on the band wagon might show signs of ebbing slightly, this shows up.

take ALL the worst features of the fixie fad, and jam them into a blender.
hit the frappe button.
garnish with “ass ugly” and serve to anyone dumb enough to fork cash for it.

i can hear the dealer now.
“Buying this bike will instantly make you appealing to the opposite sex. What, you want to be the only one in St Kilda who’s unhip? BUY THIS BIKE!”

remember the thread of bile and vitriol from a month or so ago where i ranted and railed about the way the trendy hipster fixie scene would cause a torrential flood of excremental dross to flood our beloved hobby?
Behold the flood! See the rising waters!
fuck. first the godawfull langster stuff, now this.

i’m off to stab myself in the eyes with a fork.


Suitably called “curbside” …

OK, this will hurt people alot but, when will we see free fixed huffy at kmart, surely it cant be that far away??

Just in time for Chrissie 08?