finding the balance

How to do guys find the balance between “the love of riding” and the “love of your life”. It get a little harder with kids involved as well. I think i am close to finding the balance but I am just interested in seeing i’m not alone.

It’s tricky.
I’ve learned to just enjoy every ride, whether it’s a commute or something more interesting. I start pretty early at work so even with my longish commute I get home pretty early.
For weekend rides I get up early so I’m home around breakfast time. Getting out for all-day rides can be tricky, just have to plan ahead and make sure my wife gets time away from home as well.
It’s all about compromise. Luckily my wife understands that riding keeps me sane and fit and is pretty important.

Not sure I answered the question.

my advice is do everything you can to make the people you love in your life happy and they will/should do the same.

thats it for me heavymetal, just sometimes i think just gotta show the wife she is the priority in my life, after riding and fitness.


My partner and I make sure we give each other time for our interests seperately, and family time. There’s a fair bit of compromise (i.e. taking turns to do things) and making sure they don’t conflict with other priorities.

I quit bikes, it was sweet!

Now I ride bikes but heaps less, but I need it less.

This is a great thread, thanks for starting.

I struggle with work/life/bike balance as is with time heavily skewed towards work. I also struggle with weight and am high high high risk diabetic. Can’t wait to see how having kids fucks all that up ha ha!

That being said, my wife is pretty understanding. We are pretty liberal with allowing each other to go and pursue our own interests, particularly if it’s fitness related and not just going out to fuck around with mates. But it’s also nice to spend time together, and i will almost always put time/enjoyment together over exercise/bikes.

Biggest opportunity is to get on top of work. Once that is done, i can see the other 2 pieces, and then eventually kids, falling into place :slight_smile:

I’m with you on this one. Fortunately (ha!) my job has made this decision for me and whatever scraps are left over I give to the people I care about followed by the hobbies I enjoy. I always told myself before I joined the military that if it ever looked like costing me someone I cared about then I would pull the pin and that’s something I find myself questioning now more than ever.

I’ve been fortunate enough to learn a few years back that riding bikes is not who I am; it’s just something that I do. If I don’t do it for ages, sure I get shitty but I get over it. If you can’t do something because life gets in the way, that something isn’t your life.
The beauty of recreational bicycle riding is that it will be waiting for you when you are 40, 50, 60 years old. It’s not a professional football career where physicality dictates that it’s now or never. That’s why I’m waiting til I’m too old to be rambunctious before I become a pro-surfing golfer.

I’m not sure I can actually answer your question because I’m not sure I really love anything, but I do have priorities. I work out of town Monday to Friday, and when I come home on weekends and see my best friend beat to hell from a lack of sleep looking after our 1 year old by herself - going for a ride doesn’t even register on my list of wants or needs.

TL;DR - you’re not alone and as far as finding the balance…I don’t know man

I think you pretty much nailed it. From where I sit, anyway.

Yeah, same with everything and everyone, I don’t think many people have a perfect balance that lasts and lasts… I’m always re-jigging, giving up something for something else, and no matter what I (we) do, something or someone could get more attention and energy.

Energy is a big one for me, its one thing to get out and smash it before everyone else is up, but when I’m so beat up for the rest of the day I’m useless to anyone for fun times, its still a big selfish downer. This used to be me most weekends, now I do everything less hard/shorter and keep energy for hanging out.

Yep. This too. Even more so now with teens.

Major “hassle” for me as Mrs Swuzz has started riding and now has ‘her’ days and I have ‘mine’ (other has to be home with kids)
So gone are the days of making up for missed rides on the ‘off’ days.

I find im riding less and less now. Work, cars, job and GF.

So to get some extra riding in ill ride places I would normally drive to get the fix. Not as good as spending hours slaying single track or smashing climbs but makes me feel good!

My partner keeps asking me if I am ok. I keep trying to keep my temper under control. I can’t help but feel that I am trading my relationship for education. I’m not riding much and I am afraid she is perceiving commitment to school as a guaranteed emotional relegation to the back-burner.

Yep, couldn’t have said it better.

Another theory I heard a while back (used in high performance sport) and have found roughly true in my life is that you have 2.25 units of attention or focus. You can give 100% to any two aspects of life at one time (say work and family) but will only be able to give 25% to another goal (say cycling). You can mix and match, crib a little from family to give to work etc, but ultimately you can’t create more time/attention. This rough formula makes it easier for me to evaluate where my focus is going when things are feeling a little unbalanced.

I’ve had to let go of the idea of “missed rides”, in favour of the idea of “rides taken”.

If I miss a ride (or a surf, or a beer or whatever) it’s usually for something.

Fixed that for me.