Fixed.org: The Film

It’s Friday, and I’m a little bored. This forum has been excellent over the last few days, so I’m expecting good things from this.

I figured we better discuss the inevitable: Fixed.org ‘the film’

I want a title, a cheesy by-line*, I want a plot and I want to know who’s playing who. (you can pick your actor for Rolly here)
And design types, (or really anyone who’s got a rudimentary command of paint) – I want a Movie poster.

Knock yourselves out.

*or whatever that cheesy line under the title on the poster is.

David Caruso should be in everything ever.

Oh man… it HAS to be Danny Bonaduce!

Failing that, Chuck Norris.

Premium Rush style?

Bill Murray as himself.

someone will need to contact Thor about playing me.

fuck no, i hate that ₪₪₪₪

It would be better as a musical.

David Caruso as Danny Bonaduce as Rolly as Prolly…?

chuntz played by inigo montoya.

I want to be played by “Twister”-era Bill Paxton. If he’s not available, I’ll take “Big Love”-era Bill Paxton.

Not “Aliens”-era Bill Paxton?

Nah, Twister is his best work, hands down (my pants).

in the scene where Captain Brendan makes fires me from fixies, can i slam down my cycling cap and aerospok and yell YOU CAN’T FIRE ME FROM FIXIES, I QUIT!!?? then storm out of his renovated cafe warehouse “space” slamming the roller door awkwardly behind me?

coz that would rule

I want to be the Terry Thomas character

//youtu.be/_AqS8ks9op8

Only if there’s saxophone music playing in the background as you walk onto the rain-soaked streets.

Fixed.

ah, very true! i got all excited and forgot to add the style of music i wanted playing. i think you nailed it.

i approve of this promotion in rank.

I want to be an extra, I have many pairs of cut-off’s and many sweet cycling hats and many vans and some things from boutique fixie shops in NYC.

I want to be an extra, I have many pairs of cut-off’s and many sweet cycling hats and many vans and some things from boutique fixie shops in SF.