ignorant stupid people from the north

Hello Mexicans,

Im heading down to your city next week with a bicycle and was wondering if you people had any do’s or don’ts about riding around in the city (tour of mexico). As an ignorant queenslander I can only assume its encouraged to swear at any signs of authority.

i await your yoda like knowledge.


Wear your helmet.
If you’re riding brakeless, be prepared for a fine or two depending on how stealth you are.
Don’t ride through the tram tracks on Swanston between little lonsdale and latrobe.
Go on one of the weekly rides.
99 Problems on a Wednesday night is where a heap of big baggers and faux big baggers like to hang out. Cheap Tecate is also present.
Unfortunately we don’t have a Dreamworld or Movie World.
Melbourne is on a grid, it is very easy to get around.
Melbourne CBD is tiny, its just the urban sprawl that is massive.

The End.

yes wear a helmet, as i am an idiot from sydney who did not do that one day and good home to a $149 fine :frowning:

sweet deal, i always rock a helmet.

are the 50 that vigilant on brakeless? can i plead ignorance? “im not from here”
how much is the fine?

Cross tram tracks on an angle, and be drunk all the time.

Brakeless is against the law, you will get fined if caught. I have never been caught. But I probably will be one day. Just be prepared to pay the money should the situation eventuate.

two part question.

best bike shops?
what night do they have the weekly rides?

Tuesday and thursday!
Cycling Profiles

Mondays, Wednesdays, and sometimes Sundays.

Shifter Bikes, Pony Bikes, Commuter Cycles, Human Powered Cycles, Saint Cloud all rate pretty highly.

I ride around 20kms a day brakeless too and from work. Never had a fine.
I may just be lucky though.

^ …and your commute is well out of the hipster target zone.

Yep, Carlton to Essendon lets me avoid all the ‘hotspots’.
Don’t think brakeless bikes enter the land of the Bomber that often. (not that I have seen anyway)

  1. yes, especially given they’re allegedly in the middle of a blitz. that said it’s more bad luck if you actually run into them. but if they do stop you they’ll ping you for NOBR AKES.
  2. no.
  3. it’s $150 fine.

i’ve ridden past heaps of cops/cop cars since riding brakeless without hassle. but if the bike cops are out on a blitz you will get done.
best bet is to not give them a reason to stop you in the first place. ie, obey traffic lights, stay off the tram tracks, wear your helmet, use lights at night, etc
and don’t swear at authority figures, Victoria is a nanny state that just gave cops the power to fine you $250 for using “indecent language” in public…

Don’t crack lame Mexico jokes otherwise people will realise you’re from the north and perhaps ignorant and stupid

third question, were are the best tanning salons? i know ill run out of spray tan


So, ‘ignorant stupid person from the north’, do you know if you are going to Sydney or Melbourne, or just some generic ‘big-smoke’ south of the border?


This place is around the corner was my place and looks like a nightclub.
Their website sucks though.

Mexico = Melbourne
New Mexico = Sydney
Canada = Cairns

Things have evolved since I lived on the GC.