Mourderous Basterds!!

First Magpie attack of the season this morning, a big mourderous basterd with razor-like beak, huge talons and bloodlust in his eyes. I’m heading down right now to the IT department to scrounge some multi-coloured zip ties.

Meantime here’s some timely advice from the New South Wales Department of Environment, Climate Change and Water:

"Magpie attacks

For most of the year magpies are not aggressive, but for four to six weeks during nesting they will often defend their territory vigorously. People walking past may be seen as ‘invaders’ of the territory, prompting the magpies to fly low and fast over the person clacking their bills as they pass overhead.

The experience of a magpie attack can be quite alarming, but it is usually only a warning. Only occasionally will a bird actually strike the intruder on the head with its beak or claws. If this unusual behaviour persists, there are ways of reducing the risk of physical injury to humans.

If a magpie swoops at you:

Walk quickly and carefully away from the area, and avoid walking there when magpies are swooping.

Make a temporary sign to warn other people.

Magpies are less likely to swoop if you look at them. Try to keep an eye on the magpie, at the same time walking carefully away.

Alternatively, you can draw or sew a pair of eyes onto the back of a hat, and wear it when walking through the area.

You can also try wearing your sunglasses on the back of your head.

Wear a bicycle or skateboard helmet. Any sort of hat, even a hat made from an ice cream container or cardboard box, will help protect you.

Carry an open umbrella, or a stick or small branch, above your head but do not swing it at the magpie, as this will only provoke it to attack.

If you are riding a bicycle when the magpie swoops, get off the bicycle and wheel it quickly through the area. Your bicycle helmet will protect your head, and you can attach a tall red safety flag to your bicycle or hold a stick or branch as a deterrent.

Magpies and the law
Magpies are protected throughout NSW, and it is against the law to kill the birds, collect their eggs, or harm their young. If you feel a magpie is a serious menace, it should be reported to the police or the nearest office of the NPWS."

they’re seriously suggesting that people walk around with ice cream containers on their heads?

The dork ties have been slowly making their way back in fashion with the super commuters here in Brissie as well. I’ve yet to have any kind of contact with magpies on my regular commute so count myself lucky.

I did see my first zip tie helmet bv member the other day and I thought great summers coming.

I got hit twice last sunday morning… by using sneaky ninja stealth I didn’t even hear it coming, got a nice beak indent on my helmet now!

you’re riding too slow if a maggie can stealth you from behind - heard the flapping of wings the other day for the first time this season but when I turned to survey the situation, the poor fella obviously didn’t get enough speed out of the dive

yeah good point, I was cruising at the time but sped up pretty quickly after that.

Fixed that for you

I’ve been wanting one of those flags for ages and haven’t been able to find one in any of my LBS’s - even tried toyworld

YouTube - Killer Magpie

do we infer from this that HELMETS ARE DAINGOUEROUS???

Ah, i used to wonder why wankers wore zip ties on their helmets. Looks silly and now proof it doesn’t work.
I really never have that much trouble, after all, if they dive yr helmet, who cares. Have never been hit by one.
Where i grew up in the country, the solution would have been a shotgun!
… not that i would condone or suggest such a thing in our politically correct environment or nanny state in which we live :wink:
Prob wouldn’t go down well in the inner suburbs or Melb either. Maybe a slingshot… hmmm.

Haha my nan used to make the ice-cream tub hats with eyes on them when she’d be out in the vegetable patch. Pretty sure she still got swooped.

my KOTM specialized helmet, covered in dots, is like having a million eyes. Yet to be swooped.

Making eye contact with the beak and claws sounds like a brilliant plan.

used to do this as a kid but also armoured with cricket pads (on arms and legs), safety goggles & gardening gloves.

thus suitably protected we’d then head to the park and do suicide runs under the “magpie tree”…

Zip ties on your helmet is the new fixed. All the kids will be doing it soon

it works man!

I sued to have to walk to uni up a road that had at least 5 magpies making nests in local trees. If you’re not on a bike, look em in the face and raise your hands as they swoop you. Worked every time for me. They wig out pretty hard and usually leave you alone if you keep staring at them.

ps hi all. It’s been a while.

Zip ties are for the weak. I want see a few straight blades attached to a helmet.

FUCK getting off and wheeling my bike!! just move your hands to the drops and roll faster…(all hipsters with riser bars will perish) natural selection come into play