+1
I ride the Main Yarra a lot and regularly get abused by super-commuters because my knog lights don’t put out eleventy-billion lumens…
If you’re riding slow enough that magpies can pick on you, you’re doing something fuking wrong
nor have i. my stepdad did in perth though, had one of the buggers latch on and claw his bald head pretty badly. told him to try it. he loves it!
edit - my stepdad rides up crazy big hills in the bush, he’s pretty slow, but fit as fuck!
Lies. It’s a myth that they do anything. They just identify you as a sheepish super commuter.
+1 on the credit card / all the gear no idea bikes
OCD - alwasy checking pockets for phone, wallet and keys. even at work where i dont at any time have these items in my pocket. freak out for a sec when i notice my pockets are empty.
a slight thing that peeves me is people that bum out when their brand new cinelli mash gets stolen from Uni or the alley next to oxford art factory when they “locked” it up with what looks like a coat hanger and abit of coloured nylon wrapped around it. and U-locks… dont get me started on U-locks!
i stress way to much about how i lock my bike up
I’m presuming that you have been riding for less than a year if you have never been swooped by a magpie on a bike, probably by august/september the game will be on.
+1 on the above raised pocket issue. I’ve always always maintained the same system… cards and cash in the right, keys and phone in the left, etc. I get an uneasy, uncomfortable feeling the moment I’m missing anything and can usually tell without having to physically check
been riding for many years , just not in melbourne , you are talking about the birds yeah not the fans of the footy team 
iv been swooped when walking though , not sure if its a myth but they seemed to go for blonde hair more when i was a kid
They pose a whole different kind of risk…
haha id most likely fit in , with my chipped teeth , so id be fine
Nahhh, white cars are the best.
I will always own a white car.
White bikes just look disgusting.
I used to live on Punt Rd and my personal best for having my sexuality inferred by Pies supporters in one trip is 4 times between Bridge Rd and Richmond train station…
On the last occasion I finally lost my cool and exclaimed “You are!” are the perpetrator… that’ll learn him…
Fucking people with zipp ties on helmets to ward of fucking magies just pedal faster or put up with them aaaaggghhh i hate them.
relax man, everything’s gonna be fine…
Facebook attention whores
Oh, this is me on my bucks weekend… I had to wear those magpie zip ties on my pink stackhat all weekend. Magpies in Canberra are fucking vicious. If you are riding in spring in Canberra… you will get swooped, and you will get hit in the head with a beak. They have drawn blood in the past as well.
never been swooped in melbourne, i never ride on paths though.
we used to piss off magpies for fun when we were kids, running around under their trees with our bike helmets on.
epic
Fixed with no foot retention.
Brakeless fixed with no foot retention.
SS with front brake only.
Coaster brakes (in the wrong context)
Coloured parts. Particulary rims and chains.
The word “fixie”.
Helmetless or Cinelli hairnets.
Roadies who blatantly flaunt traffic rules.
Hi vis commuters that shoal.
I keep my keys on my jeans and my ulock in my back pocket. Know exactly where everything is.
I like Japanese frames with nice parts and pursuit bars on pursuit frames.
And I HATE untaped bars. Tape that shit up!
dual suspension k-mart bikes (or any k-mart bike for that matter). shitty heavy things with useless suspension, which clueless people buy because they somehow think that a shit bike with lots of features is better than a bike with better important components and none of the shitty worthless features that they don’t need.
i was in big W the other day diamond back is now a big w brand , how sad i used to have a $800 diamond back bmx 10 years ago , pac brands sold out with that brand