Words fail me

BBC NEWS | UK | Scotland | Glasgow, Lanarkshire and West | Bike sex man placed on probation

How the F#ck do you get in trouble for that. He was in his room!! If my bikes weren’t so cold and steely and i was feeling a bit lonely maybe i’d have a crack… I was expecting something more along the lines of ’ he had the saddle inserted…’

I love how the BBC has thought it necessary to include a picture of a bike, just in case you weren’t sure what one was.

Also, I don’t understand the logistics. I want to, but I just don’t.

taking bike p*rn to a whole nother level

Dick in bottom bracket
Cock in spokes
Knob between brake shoes
Anus around seatpost
Helmet in helmet
Johnson in seat tube
Whatever you like, man.
I don’t see this any different to a man playing around with a flesh light, or one of those fake ‘real pussy and ass’ toys made from weird silicon shit that doesn’t feel like real skin at all!

And the problem is …

We need an “Ask Mr Dylan” thread.

So basically some lonely, middle-aged guy gets drunk, has a wank (granted there was a bike involved) and this shit somehow constitutes news. Journalistic excellence right there.

Umm, ok. Will do.

well, as the article explains the cleaners knocked several times before entering the room. one assumes the velosexual had a desire to be caught in the act if he didn’t protest to the cleaners coming in. and that right there is a sex crime

The most disgusting thing about this is that it was a flat bar roadie.

^^^ This made me laugh. A lot. The bloke in the office next to mine came in to see if I was okay.

Personally, I don’t find that Claud Butler very attractive.

Velosexual. Love it. Want it on a t-shirt.

if he owned more that one bike would that constitute cheating?

A forum member asked me the other day, ‘is going to a strip show cheating man? Idk I’ve not had that many girlfriends’

Ummmm noooo. Lap dances don’t have you touching anyone at all. And hell, I’ll never touch another woman.

i try to entertain. i try

^^^ You’re very trying

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist)