Help my wife

So the mrs has just touched down in Melbourne and is in Bourke Street Mall. Is there anywhere in the area that caters for a couple of girls who have specific dietary requirements (Soy + Lactose). Or anywhere that is just good solid healthy food?

Any other places worth visiting in the inner city?

FANX!

I have sent her to Degraves Street?

Good call.

there’s an ok health food store there that’ll be able to look after her. called TOFWD or something.

Brilliant, she will be right in to that. Thanks heaps people!

she should go to that Krishna joint on Swanston… got all kinds of vegan beans and shit in there

personally I’d rather eat twigs and dirt, but each to their own.

also heard good things about this place: http://omvegetarian.com/

do we know that these two ladies are vegetarian?

No… I heard “special dietary requirements” and my eyes glazed over.

haha. i was gonna suggest a few places but then remembered i often drink full cream milk straight from the carton. HOW D’YA LIKE THAT SOY KIDS?!?!?!

Hell yeah rolly!

“oh, milk makes me fart”

Cry my a fucken river…

no, no she shouldn’t.

i hope my lady doesn’t see any of this, she does actually get quite ill if she has dairy!! i forgot and bought french vanilla icecream the other week… she wasn’t as impressed as i was hoping

Ah, yeah… sorry if that was a bit insensitive. I was going for awesome fart joke and ended up with tumbleweeds.

It’s HOT like a squirt of steaming lactose induced diaherrea…

It isn’t actually the farty reaction that they get from lactose. Its kind of like a reaction that people get when they eat lobster, rashes and stuff. It is quite scary sometimes, especially when waiters shrug it off and think it is okay for them to have something with lactose in it. It is why I don’t eat out much… it kind of ruins the romantic mood when you have to skip out of the restaurant super quick to take her home.

Oh, and these girls love meat.

is it an allergy or an intolerance?

Allergy

sucks. not anaphylactic though? coz that would be a real pain and i can understand why you wouldn’t wanna risk eating out!

this is why i ask, i work here

I don’t think it will get that bad, but it does appear around the eyes. It’s really bad, she will get a hayfever like itch then within 15 minutes her eyes are mega swollen.