Mr_Dylan asks you!

Hokay, new thread idea. I’m gonna ask a new question every day, and I want answers/opinions from your diverse hipstery selves.
Here’s the first, the Wednesday night edition:

Back on the dating scene. And by back, I mean, for the first time since 18, I’m looking to meet new, sexy people.
And here’s the thing. Last time I had a first date, we went 50/50 on a dominos pizza, half ate it, then snogged for a bit behind a place what’s now a church-shop. Got me 5 years with a beautiful woman.
But now, I have to go out again, and I don’t think 50/50 pizza’s are gonna win me over anyone anymore.

So! Umm, yeah. Date ettiqete. What do I do? I want to leave a good impression and stuff, and I have no issue meeting potential new love interests, but really I don’t understand the whole order of things. Tonight was the first first date I’ve ha in more than 5 years, I didn’t know wether to shake hands to say hello, or who pays for what, and who texts who to say ‘thanks for dinner’ and how long I have to wait?! Gah. Also it was in Richmond, and I got sooooo lost on the way there.

Give me your tips! Your answers. Your everything. And then stay tuned for another question tomorrow.

Also i was late

No idea. Never been on a “first date”, at least not in the conventional sense. That doesn’t answer your question, but it’s never occurred to me before.

I did find a site that said among other things

"First date dictate #4: Order with panache

First tip. Always be on time.

Pro tip: don’t be afraid of being single for a while. You’ll be less likely to rush into a shitty relationship and you might even learn a thing or two about yourself.
Unless you just want to get laid, in which case I have no tips whatsoever.

Go with the flow

pro tip.
if you want to get laid, develop a pro tip.

Always pay, always be a gentleman, text or call back whenever, just do it first. If she is truly interested you won’t need any silly games like they do in Sex and the City or other realistic shows you and I may or may not watch.

Take her on a bike ride with nibbles afterwards then get out of there before you do anything stupid, it’s managed me 5 months with a beautiful girl.

Might be just me but I avoid the sit down dinner date at all costs, too much can just suck and your stuck sitting there tyring to make shitty conversation. Pro tip: Putt Putt golf brother then grab a (good quality) take away pizza and a bottle of red go sit in tha park and relax. You learn a lot about a person from putt putt. I used the above 6 years ago and am still with the fine lady and we have little boy. May have worked too good :stuck_out_tongue:

Some of my best date nights were with a 6 pack and a bit of takeaway. Dylan, you’re a rad guy so I would say just be yourself, and if your date doesn’t like that you’ve saved yourself some time and heartache. As lokione and others have said, it’s about getting to know the other person, so do something that will put you and her in your comfort zones and not feel contrived. I’ve found that sometimes scheduling a date before a party works well. If the date works out you can take them along to the party, but it gives them an out if they want to escape.

I haven’t been on a ‘first date’ for 8 years, so my advice may not be top notch. However the last one I went on I was 20, at TAFE doing ‘liberal arts’ (I still don’t know wtf that is), didn’t have a license, lived with my parents and had just recently been fired from the wine store I worked at. I didn’t feel like I was a real ‘catch’ and I didn’t have much coin. I was brutally honest about all of those things and offered to split a six pack with the lady in a park. Started a touch awkward but got better and better and we ended up going to hang with her friends nearby (clearly her plan b). I’m not saying do what I did, but there was something nice about not putting up a front and being pretty honest about my flaws. It meant there weren’t too many nasty surprises for her, plus I didn’t have to pretend to be anything. I know it’s clichéd dude, but if they’re not into for who you are, you don’t want 'em to be into you.

Dylan. Heavymetal is right, stay single for a bit. Get good at being alone.

But if you do have to do a date, I reccomend a restaurant where you can eat at a bar (there’s plenty of them) - it’s good because it often feels less formal and cliched that sitting opposite each other at a table for two. Also, go somewhere with share plates, again - so much less awkward that ordering individual dishes, and it also provides conversation fodder.

My pro tip… don’t chase.

Enjoy being single for a bit. Don’t jump into ‘dating’ for the sake of it. Be yourself, and find someone whose company you really enjoy.

The other stuff like being a few minutes late, who pays etc is all extraneous and won’t matter with the right person.

Stay single and go on some awesome adventures.

Don’t be a dick
Be a gentleman
HAVE FUN… and make sure (s)he is having fun too
Relax, its not the end of the world if this one doesnt work out after all its just a date not an prelude to marriage. if it doesnt work out, its no slight on you in any way (unless you went on a long rant about lizards and zionist conspiracies and how hitler was the reincarnation of christ).

Hahaha you still thinkin about our txt chat the other night??

That’s what I’m doin Dylan, no rush with that stuff, take your time, get comfortable with your own time and space again :slight_smile:

The whole ‘staying single’ thing does sound great, but at the same time, I’d like to get back with my ex :-/
I just have to figure some things out first, which is why I’m going on dates and stuff. Casual hookups and drinking in parks all sounds lovely, but I really enjoyed last night. Nice little resteraunt, individual dishes, both ordered the same drink (diet coke), then coffee and a cigarette outside afterwards. I paid, and I got a text like 5 mins ago saying ‘hey Dylan I really enjoyed last night, let’s do it again soon’.
Maybe I’ll just have some drunken adentures this Saturday night at a 19th bday party. Except not with the same person I did last weekend, who will also be at this party… Potential awks!!!

sounds like you got your head together in knowing what you want to do.

just don’t go creating another mind fuck of a situation in the process.

take it easy, know that you have all the time in the world.

Fuck before dinner. Cuts out all the bullshit, confusion and tension if there is any. Then you can both actually relax and enjoy dinner.

btw I never dated, never asked for a girls phone #. I let fate/destiny/kismet play it’s hand. As suave and cool as I always thought I was I couldn’t take a cue or hint to save my life and was OK with that. It was more often than not the girl who made the move.

I agree with heavymetal, don’t rush into anything. You’re still so young and working out who you are what you wanna do etc. Get on with life, do what interests you and I’m sure you’ll have no problem meeting plenty of women. Enjoy everything for what it is and take one day at a time as nothing is forever.