To Much Information...

General Pub
1

Ok…moderators, please delete this thread if “inappropriate”…please…!

Seriously, this is a serious question. Seriously.

I cant fart while riding my fixie. There…I’ve said it. I eat lots of fruit, so…well…I…um…tend to fart a bit…! I never used to think much about it while riding my other bikes - stop peddling, lift a cheek, & let rip - all good. But Friday, I took my fixie to work, & while coming home, needed to…“de-pressurise”, but realised that without stopping peddling, I couldn’t! (…cant believe I’m actually writing this…). I’M SERIOUS - STOP LAUGHING!!
What I want to know is, is it just me, or is this common? I’m guessing that maybe because I am still peddling, all the muscles from my thighs up to my stomach are still working, so my…“ring gear”…is still working too, meaning it cant relax to let me…well…fart!
I only ride 6km each way to work & back, so its no big deal, but sometimes I have also wondered how long distance racers (i.e TDF riders) deal with…“poo’s & wee’s”. (I’m guessing wee’s , maybe just “hang it out the side” while coasting?-pitty the poor bloke behind!, Poo’s, too bad - maybe shouldn’t have had those extra prune’s for brekkie?) I have no idea!

I apologise for a strange, probably dumb question, but if you don’t ask, you’ll never know!

(P.S. I originally wrote this out on paper the other night with…um…a few beers, but on reading it the next day, thought “no way!”. I’ve been sitting here now with…um…a few beers, & thought “yeah, do it!”. I think it’s called Dutch Courage…better known here as home brew…!)

If anyone wants to add to this thread with their own “Too Much Info” stories, feel free! (What am I doing?..I need another beer…)

2

There was a thread about this, many years ago (and I am probably going back to 2006 or so when I first joined FGA).

It was a problem reported by chaps relatively new to fixed gear riding (we were all new to fixed gear riding back then). The short answer is you will eventually learn to relax enough for the blessed relief to come of its own accord. Or just wait until your next red light.

3

Why did you think fixie bike riders always posed like this?

4

Don’t worry about it mate. Yeah, farts are funny as, but I actually have a feeling that this has been discussed before.

I don’t know the answer fixed wise. You’ll see they often stop for “nature breaks” in the big bike races though, unless you’re a triathelete… Speaking of triathletes

5

I had a real problem ripping a fart on my old fixed, always figured it was the constant movement.
Since moving to the Ripper I’ve found I need to coast to pull off the manoeuvre.

6

The Zen overrides the will to Fart.

7

You’ll learn to lift yourself off the seat (it’s like standing up on the pedals). The biggest fear is letting one rip then sitting down to find things a little more squidgy

8

There was also a thread on farkin around 2k8 if IIRC.

9

I always assumed the reason fixie riders couldn’t fart was because they were wearing their sister’s jeans?

10

Ha Ha cheers guys! Some great comments there! But crapping your pants while riding in a race…? And then writing about it…? I’m not sure if she’s a legend or a nut-case! Funny as though!

11

We have a winner.

12

fart while you skid, problem solved, what a time to be alive.

13

skidmarks to the power of two.

14

slowsquad. #slurpwhileyouwork.

15

#TwoSkidsOneCup

16

I fart all the time on all my bikes. It’s all timing. Like skidz, practice makes perfect, so go hang out in a shopping centre carpark late at night and see if you can’t squeeze out a few!