^ Oops, maybe I put my decimal point in the wrong spot.
it’s been a bloody long time since i did any kind of calculation with π and √!
You guys are so stoopid,
The round crumpets suck, get the rectangle ones,
And the frame has a honey comb like structure inside to increase strength and decrease weight.
So it’s actually more like violet crumble and they have a purple wrapper like prollys bike and Brian Mooses epic colossi low so this bike is nothing like a crumpet but more like a colossi low pro.
I want one.
TC: For ages as a kid I called Violet Crumbles “Violent Crumbles” because the packet had the exploding graphic and when you bit one they sort of broke violently. Plus I never read the packet properly and realised violet = purple.
Yeah, but how big would the toaster have to be?!!
^ Revised result edited above, 872mm diameter. Maths was never my strong point.
C-
Can’t believe I missed this. NO WAY are the rectangle ones better. The round ones, when toasted perfectly, get a slight crispiness to the edge that the rectangle ones just can’t replicate.
Rectangle crumpets, what a fucken joke.
My daughter’s name is Violet. A family member gave us a book with the inside cover message ‘this book belongs to: Violent.’
Fuck if you use a square toaster on a round crumpet then you need a round toaster for the same result.
But it’s spring so crumpets are out and almond milk, banana, cinnamon smoothies are in.
FACT: crumpets (round only) are a year-round food.
Coconut crumpets is what’s up!
Also this bike would be smashed by spring winds. A cross-wind around any traffic = death.
^ What bike?
KNOWLEDGE BOMB:
The drummer from Pink Floyd, Nick Mason, holds the record for making the world largest crumpet. Apparently it was 9ft in diameter.
^ How much did it weigh?
Details are sketchy. I’ll leave it to you for calculation 
just take into account that apparently it tasted “a little tough” according to him.
Also I assume it was round
Tasty, tasty facts.
I did the same with “Ultra Violent Light”
That’s it, now i’m gonna have to go and get a ultra violent crumble outta the office vending machine and send an e-mail demanding a (gluten free) crumpet vending machine 
Holds up: NICK MASON HOLDS RECORD FOR LARGEST CRUMPET MADE by ~GreatGawain on deviantART
Imagine how this person would feel if confronted with that monster: Teenager scared of crumpets | The Sun |News