Cousin Balki's Melbourne Rant Thread.

Hey designer guys, can you add some more colour to the city please? Already colourful, lucky city and that. But Dylan wants MOAR

I observed some heavy duty hipster business at the High Street festival yesterday.

I yelled for so many skids and got none. Except for LP who skid requested me when I was walking past him without my bike so I mimed doing a huge skid on an invisible bicycle whilst all my mates looked at me weird. Saw my pyschology teacher with a six pack and done up top button looking coolā€¦

I ate a souvlaki and drank 4 large cans of german beer.

I saw Rolly and Kate, obviously on their way there while I was on my way back.

I think I did tooā€¦

indeed you did. i can highly recommend the baked eggs from new day rising. persian fetta mmmmmmm

Two observations:

  1. The bike path on Harbour Esplanade is retarded with itā€™s little ā€œslow down, thereā€™s a pedestrian crossing that never gets used aheadā€ bumps every 20 meters.

  2. A tram driver on Swan Street got on his loud speaker and told me not to lean against the tram. I made sure I beat him to the city.

Eleven dollars fifty for a chicken ciabata. Fuck my boots.

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Legally itā€™s just holding onto ā€œmoving vehiclesā€ I think. Could be completely wrong and itā€™s other peoples property ect but I did read it somewhereā€¦

I donā€™t think itā€™s just moving vehicles. I got yelled at by a rather pissed of tram inspector on High St once because I leant on a stationary tram. I mean, I can understand why, sort of, but she didnā€™t need to lose her shit at me. Rude bitch that one.

What the shit is that turntable arrangement for the girls at the brownlow??? Fuck my socks! I cant believe what Iā€™m seeing.

anyone else observed how melbourne has an uncanny ability to hold off the worst of the rain until just before 5??

iā€™m not overly fussed coz iā€™ve got the gear for such situations, but iā€™m always amazed how regularly it occurs!!

cousin balki, i initially had no idea what you were talking about, and assumed by ā€˜turntableā€™ you meant ā€˜record playerā€™ and i pictured the girls at the brownlow, all dolled up and spinning mad dj sets. iā€™m not bullshitting - this is actually what i thought, if momentarily. the reality, unfortunately, was far less rad.

Watch the wind itā€™s nuts. Got some crazy cross-winds in the cbd coming out of alleys/little streets that suprised me, had to fight to stop myself changing lanes.

Two cyclists hitā€¦

Two cyclists injured in van strike

Does this imply that the same van hit two bikes on totally different stretches of road???

Ahā€¦ No, it doesnā€™t.

Anyway cool article:
Push for peace as rage rises between drivers, cyclists | theage.com.au

Piss off Dr Cameron, you utter plum.

after a few weeks of observing, the resounding answer is yes

huzzah!!!

good to see the helmet cams proved that cars are significantly more at fault than cyclists. good work whoever had them on their helmets. it was hmc and cc yeah??

This sort of Uncle Tom bullshit irks me, however:

Mr Gould said he also made a point of ticking off cyclists who broke road rules, as they gave the wider cycling group a bad reputation among drivers.

Fuck that. If a motorist is willing to use the actions of an individual to judge all cyclists together, that person should not be allowed to operate a motor vehicle.