English as She Is Spoke

Stuff you see written here and there
Context

Seen today: “never going to be full proof”

I’m on tender hooks waiting for the next one.

^ Tender hooks instead of “tenter hooks”.

^^ His testing me out!

For all intensive purposes, where is this thread going?

Surely this would of died by now?

What are we aksing?

^ I literally wet my pants reading that response.

We’re aksing the brevet.

Youse guyz are all thingers and fumbs in dis tread.

Well, without further adieu, I’m retiring from this thread.

Obviously you guys just don’t get it

You misunderestimate us.

I can’t understand anything you guys say, do y’all have a speech impairiment?

I apologize for any incontinence …

They’re their, people.

^ You guys are loosing it.

I fought you retyred?

Hooked, line and sinker.

Here here!

Is that actually wrong or is ‘hear hear’?