FJ wrote this, and it definitely applies to some folks here. Beware the beard within.
You probably could have saved yourself some words by having a post consisting simply of the words “Hi Blakey!”
Highly entertaining!
cough John Kennedy cough
But I can see the appeal of the mudguards and racks and 48t big dog.
Yeah a simple morning Blakey would have done the job,H
By reading this I was made aware that I have had beardo tendencies of late,
Thanks for waking me up I will go to crits again on sat and track tonight.
I also feel mr sugar kayne had a roll in this anti beardo attack.
But the question is how long can I hold off these urges, the wolves are at the gate and it’s only a mater of time before they get in.
My rants are entirely my own. Surarkanye had no involvement.
Guys, this epidemic has the potential to destroy cycling.
Sounds like you are channelling alexb618.
Very enjoyable read, especially the detail about cup and cone bearings
I already have my 650b, dyno, Sturmey Archer, mudguard glory sans panniers.
As the guy who runs the Vienna bike kitchen told me “650b is the new 700c”, such a douche.
'e fooken wishes.
I have trancended alexb618. dunno if even real.
fkn, i’ll text rolly.
You are right this is not my rant but I totally fucking agree with you…
Fuck beards, fenders, racks and 35c tires…
Is the poor spelling also an antidote to this coming sub-sub-culture?
You know you are a Beardo when,
You dismiss carbon as a frame material, but would consider Flax or Bamboo.
You get excited by an integrated bell on a stem or headset spacer.
Hi, I’m Gordy and I am a Beardo. 
Anyone that tests out prototype Grand Bois tyres- that’s a pretty good indicator
Owning a seat that weighs more than Kanye’s wheelset.
THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE SPELLCHECKED.
cvnts.
You rang?
There’s no going back. Full beard ahead!