Make love not War

I had an interesting experience this morning.
Had smashed out 10 or so laps of albert park.
Was trundling round for one or two more and just going over the speed humps.
As I did so (on the low part near the kerb) a car came past quite fast no more than a foot from my bars.

Steam out my ears instantly.


I followed.

Caught up to the driver.
At this stage I had calmed down a bit.

When he parked, I pulled in and said
‘Excuse me - you were quite close to me when you past me (indicating how far away from my bars). Now I’m alright with this, but there are a a bunch of people on the roads who aren’t that skillful and being that close might scare them pretty badly and cause an accident’

‘So I passed you when you were in the middle of the road’

‘Well, I was (indicating again) about this far (a foot to a foot and a half) from the kerb’

Oh… sorry.

‘Thanks mate, please just keep it in mind when you are passing cyclists.’

I rode away, thinking, that was the correct way to handle that. I could have gone in there all guns blazing, and well, I wanted too and I usually would. I’m not sure why I didn’t.

I hope he remembers that next time he goes to pass someone on a bike. Especially if they are wobbling all over the road.


Yes Lats, ultimately the calm measured approach usually produces better results than the angry ‘fking ahole!!!’ response. Sounds like the car driver was somewhat receptive to your comments- often drivers will just tell you to piss off.
Better cyclist-driver communication is the key!



i tried that this morning: A car honked as it passed, so I caught up and I asked calmly what that honking was all about, it scared the jebez out of us. The driver then told me off for not holding my line and for riding two abreast.

I tried to explain how it’s more dangerous to ride single-file along that stretch because it encourages cars to pass too close, but his stupid fat wife yelled at me and they then drove off :confused: It sure sucked being told off by a fat shit for not holding my line… Even though he was right - I was fumbling around and talking instead of concentrating on traffic :confused:

Oh well.

"his stupid fat wife yelled at me and they then drove off :confused: It sure sucked being told off by a fat shit for not holding my line… "

Did they have a bucket of chicken with them…? :slight_smile:



they drove away singing - ‘dirty bird dirty bird, I love my dirty bird’

a guy i used to work with suggested attaching the ceramic bit of an old spark plug to a length of string that you could whip into car windows for a bit of swift revenge. I’m not one for vigilante action but it does have a certain appeal at time :wink:

i just like to give those frisky little cars a friendly slap on the arse as i overtake them whilst they are backing up end on end (except for the humvee that girnds its way through brunswick, im afraid those guys will pop a cap in me).

i’ve passed corrvettes, and ferraris (admitidly all in near gridlock) and i sometimes hope my loteck peice of steel makes them reconsider their driving ways in genral, a few months back i passed john howard in his convoy, to me that felt like winning the tour de france for every australian cyclist.

hahah brilliant.

Humvees are not welcome here - they should all be sumpplugged!

some bogan spat on me a couple of weeks ago. made me wish for a bidon full of paintstripper.

With a cigarete lighter to turn it into a flame thrower!!! :evil:

The worst I’ve had/given was being tooted at by some young fucking young c*nts in ‘daddies’ nice european 2 door thing, whilst they repeatedly gained on my back wheel to ‘play’ with me, on off on off on off up the stretch of Riversdale Rd just before the skatepark heading outbound. P plates in full view, I think it was about that muck up day time of the year.

There wasn’t much I could do but hold my line and curse with hand gestures. They ended up speeding past me and throwing something out the window that missed.


But low and behold the cretins failed to realise that Camberwell Junction was about 400m ahead and i would catch them there!
So in peak traffic I spotted them gridlocked ahead and I moved across in between the two lanes and pulled up next to the drivers open window.


driver- “uhhhh uhhhh uhhhhh ummm it was just a bit of fun”

me- “oh really?!!! massive snorting noise, flegm rising by litre

THWACK! a nice loogie his face

me- “eat a fucking dick”

Then the driver was just freaking out, clearly he didn’t think of the reprocussions of doing something so ‘funny’. He just picked the wrong cyclist trying to get home from uni.

Then I rode off, still F**king fuming but feeling a sweet sweet feeling inside…

that feeling was revenge.

I pretty much only hate cigarette smoke and people that target cyclists as a bit of fun. In hindsight I dont think that this was really the ‘best’ or ‘responsible’ way to deal with it but i was seeing red.

ah well.

(sorry about the essay! END RANT)

Can I ride with you? I’m too little to retaliate as I would like in shitty situations!

On a good note though I once had a guy wave me through a round-a-bout when he had right of way, as he did so he called out “It’s ok, I don’t hate cyclists!”

Once got harrassed by prick in a Mercedes going up one of those streets with no escape. My mate caught him at the lights and emptied his bidon of gatorade all over the driver. He was just finishing the spluttering when I went past and sprayed my bottle in the window too. :evil:

haha, i dont usually retaliate like that, i think i must of had a bad day. Dongas gatorade solution to the problem seems MUCH more hygenic!

Its always great getting a little love back from motorists, most drivers are actually ok, its just the dickheads that seem to stick in your mind.

this is the best story i’ve ever heard regarding cyclist v motorist revenge

Riding home from the Espy on my bicycle, a mate ahead of me was beaned in the head with stubby by a passing car (in Acland st outside Safeway).

I. Saw. Red.

I pedal like McEwen in a sprint, with no plans. I draw alongside the car and just dive in the passenger’s window- I forget that I am clipped into my pedals and my bike is now dragging along the road, with me half in and half out like winnie the pooh. I manage to reach actross and sock the driver in the ear (ouch) while the passenger tries to hit me with a club lock- but can’t swing it. I am scratching and yelling and punching as I fall from the car. I hit the road, they go through a red light into Barkly st and I’m in a crumpled and yet unharmed state on the road.

A guy runs out of a bar to check how I am. The street is packed with people. He says he’s seen the whole thing and reckons what I’ve just done is the single stupidest thing he’s ever seen.

Everyone agrees.

from a motoring journalist of all people.
thanks thomas r for battling the bogans and being a representative for all angry cyclists Music News, Views And All The Latest From Junkee

haha LAM thats amazing.

once we were riding steet in the city one night a few years ago and a car nudged my mates rear wheel on purpose at the lights, (the old BMX BANDITS! SHOULDNT BE ON THE ROAD KINDA ABUSE A FEW BLOCKS BEFORE THAT AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE ‘NUDGE’)

so he turned around and ripped off the clear plastic protective thing that goes over the headlights and front of the bonnet above the grill. chucked is under his arm and casually road off.

i was speechless. then i got the fuck outta there!

I was riding through the city one night with a mate and had some girl in her car give me a bit of a pat on the arse while i was waiting for the lights to change. I caught up with the car at the next set of lights and I got another one. She was cute as well. We definitely need more of that.

We must have met the same girl on different nights.

It seemed to surprise you as much as me!