Sentences I wish I'd written

I’ll start:

“Time had become like a crazy conductor on a Bullet Train”

“Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I’m inclined to believe Withnail is right. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.”

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to, he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

Dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like there’s nobody listening.

*Excuse me, I’m off to yoga, and by ‘yoga’ I mean getting coffee in yoga pants with my girlfriends.

‘The crocodile must want to be a crocodile for reasons of the crocodile’

I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.”

I am serious and don’t call me Shirley

I read a quote years ago and still can’t find it again. It was along the lines of “A good deed is only valid if it happens and the person doing the deed doesn’t mention it to gain praise”

Anyone here recognise it? It’s one that I’ve taken into my daily life so it would be awesome to find the actual quote and author.

He snot the Messiah; he’s a very naughty boy.

I’ll be back.

A bit like: “A true hero does not seek adulation.”

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.

God said to Abraham “kill me a son”


Yeh exactly, not the same quote but same message.

I was wrong.

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.
(Charles Caleb Colton)


When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
(Mark Twain)

Back in about 2001, to my stockbroker:-

Please buy me 10,000 shares in Apple.

Twatt by JCC is amazing. Some of the most eloquently insulting words ever assembled.

“Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race”

“Hell is other people.”