Dury Duty

Yes, I’ve been summoned. Apparently I have a duty to wander in and listen to Ian Dury and the Blockheads play “Hit me with your Rythym stick” and “Reasons to be Cheerful, Part 3”.

BTW, Isn’t that the greatest single ever released? The fact the it features the greatest motorcycle ever released is proof of that argument. Hey, I just need to say the lyric “The Vincent Motorcycle”, with the y in cycle pronounced with a short vowel and you will know exactly what I mean.

Yeah baby.

Anyway, what was your question?

Jury Duty.

Whose done it?

What do you do? Can I take a packed lunch? can I ride my bike? I have NFI. I have been cultivating a straggly beard and long hair in the hope that I will be rejected. But maybe there’s a defense lawyer out there with a drug smuggling, granny rapping, child-pron peddling pervert who thinks that I will empathize with his client.

I should’ve rung that help line they sent me in the letter. I mean, do I take a take a cut lunch? Where do I park my bike? Maybe I’ll wander in my Rapha (yeah, I’m a closet Rapha guy), with my Vittoria shoes (look like golf shoes), chain up my HASA and go in and decide the next 25 years of some poor dude.

I’ve done 2 major trials before.
Take a packed lunch cos you could be there all day and not get called in. Though both times I’ve been called in early and picked. (Can’t win lotto though!)
Being the legal area of town, there will likely be bike racks out front… for couriers, Legal Aid clients etc

My one shot of Jury Duty only ran one day. Police prosecutor’s bought in an informant to give evidence against a major drug crew they were looking to sting but the informant denied an of his previous statements and kept repeating “at the time I was using heroin and I can’t remember” in a very heavy wog accent.

Everyone in the courtroom could see and feel what was happening but the Judge ruled that there was no case to hear. I was so disappointed, so were the Police Prosecutor’s … it really seemed like it was going to be a juicy week or two which I only got a glimpse of seeing.

I thought I wanted to get on a trial because the work situation was bad when I got the summons, but it’s improved and I rather stay at work now.

Yeah, I’ll ride in, don’t have to get there till 9;15am.

It can be really straightforward. I’ve been summoned three times (got out twice through work and children reasons) but did get picked once for a three-day assault case. You can get unlucky though. The jury in the next room were on day 86 of a manslaughter trial. If you get empanelled, they feed you.

When I got called up last time, they warned us one of the trials was “Underbelly related” and expected to go on for months. Pity I missed that one. I did get a 2 weeker though.

The bike racks fill up pretty quick (at the Melbourne county court anyways).

I got the call up but declined, can’t remember my excuse now, but it worked.
I’d rather earn money at work than listen to the crap I can watch on tv at night.

you tricked me… :frowning:

thought thread was something to do with durries…

I pretty much did jury duty the day I turned 18. 3 sisters accused a next door neighbour of molesting them when they were kids. I thought the guy was the biggest piece of shit ever, I had already found him guilty.
The guys lawyer got the girls on the stand the 2nd day after we had heard their stories of what this guy had done to them, and he obviously thought they were lying.
Anyway within 15 minutes he had one of the girls breaking down and admitting they made the whole thing up as they just hated the guy for years.
That day made me question a lot of things after that.

One call up, one short trial. I wanted to be empaneled and was nervous while walking to the jury box as to whether I would be challenged. It was fascinating to be part of the whole process but left me very saddened as the ‘reasonable doubt’ in my trial let, in my opinion, a guilty child molester go free.

The entire jury was willing on the crown prosecutor to build a stronger argument but the defense was able to pick holes in the testimony of a very young girl eg. she was two and a half when first interviewed, and by the time she was re-interviewed as a five year old she was unable to remember what colour pj’s she had on at the time…

The defendant was the girl’s father too, he mouthed ‘thank-you’ to the jury after the foreman read out not guilty, everyone wanted to vomit/punch the guy in his face.

On a positive, the tipstaff was a boss.

you’re prob gonna get some boring-ass trial about a director managing whilst disqualified, though.

I got called up to Dury Duty. I wasn’t chosen as part of the trial - But this was the case… hilarious.

Woman acquitted after ‘goon bag’ dispute

“A Dunlop woman has been acquitted of stabbing her son in the kidney during a drunken dispute over a “goon bag” and her ex-husband’s love child.”

I win.

They went to sleep but Ms Fleeting was woken by loud music at about 4.30am and discovered her son drinking with his half-sister and a red-headed man known only as “Burgo”.


Ha! When I brew a Red Ale next, I’m calling it Burgo.

I really want to do jury duty so I can yell OBJECTION.


I thought you were a philosopher, not a barrister?!

I copped 2 murder trials out of my call ups. Being part of a jury can be bloody hard work. You’re dealing with a random bunch of strangers who bring their baggage along for the ride.

Best watch 12 Angry Men before you go.
12 Angry Men (Twelve Angry Men) - Rotten Tomatoes

Yeh, i guess so. I reckon I would make a pretty good barrister though. Pretty good at thinking on my feet/logical arguments/making people cry.

But didn’t do it to follow the courier dream.