"Sick Burn"

Recently upgraded from single speed to fixed and copped my first burn today,
riding along Findon Road in Adelaide to work.
Two tradies in a ute remarked:

“Buy some brakes you f*cking retard!”

I actually had to stop I was laughing so hard.
Anyone else had any awesome burns recently?.

“get a real boyfriend!” Whilst I was walking home from the train station with my sister, about 2 years ago, from a guy in a blue BA ute.
Most memorable burn anyway.

“You’re a fucking dickhead!”

Just cos i split a lane neatly and without fuss.

my personal favourite, from a random car:

“hey, i listen to 90s music too!”

I also got “SATAN LIVES!” one time.

Oh and there was this time a guy threw a beer bottle at me, LOL!

New Year’s Eve 2002, Whangamata, walking back to my accommodation with my then girlfriend after we’d had an argument. She was upset and I was pissed off. Walk by a bunch of bogan dudes parked up in their rotaries. One particularly ugly and over-weight guy says to me as I walk past him, “I’d be angry if that was my girlfriend too mate”. It was particularly insulting given that he was quite unattractive, and she was actually very pretty. I seriously considered going back and throwing a brick at his head, but later respected how quick-witted and effective his insult was.

I like it when people yell out ‘OYE! LANCE!’ - because accusing someone of being a seven times tour de france winner is apparently an insult.

it had nothing to do with your splitting a lane, james.

‘Fixie faggot’ is the best I got. But numerous car horns and the like, but any rider gets that.
Oh and ‘wear a helmet ya dickhead’, that was when I was riding on the footpath out the front of my house…

Maybe it was because your short were tight and seemed to be missing a testicle.

I can’t help the other stuff.

“FUCKEN FIXIE FGGT C*NT!!!” was a memorable one.
who knew riding a bicycle along brunswick st would provoke such a strong emotional reaction from a complete stranger…?

“HEY FIXIE MOTHERFUCKER” is the best I can do. Once I chased down a car after having a beer bottle thrown at me. I was livid at these pathetic cowards. I must have seemed threatening because regardless of the baseball bat they showed me, they took off through the red light out of sight. Plates noted a reported. Eat shit and die fuckers!

Great timing, bear with me here…friday arvo from a dickhead on an MTB. Shared ped/bike path with lots of families, so its no racetrack. MTB dickhead comes racing along using it as a crit course, you know the kind. Nearly takes out me, plus two kids and their dad, and scares the crap out of some womans dog on one narrow corner with no vision ahead. On my way back home ten minutes later he rolls up behind me, dings the bell, and says “it’d go better with gears” as he keeps eye contact as he passes me. My witty rejoinder was “you’d do better with your eyes forward”, as he clips bars with a guy coming the other way. Dickhead went over, but BSO rider stayed upright. I’ve never laughed so hard as I rode past him.

Not involving me, nor even bikes, however… 25-60 seconds in. The best.

Andrew O’Neill - Red Hair

From a bus of I presume Christian youth, four youths yell to me “JESUS F*CKING LOVES YOU!”

Not so much a burn, just thought it was odd and memorable.

‘Get a Hair a Cut’, when i still had long hair, I took their advice.

Full moon ride the other night, going up this steep as fuck hill with like 15 other riders at different points.

car drives past… “Push harder… Your mum had to!”

Dan and I got, “Hey look it’s lance armstrong” when we were doing the allycat a few weekends back. ha.

…by a guy on a razor scooter coming down the hill i was riding up just now, “keep moving those legs”.