I dunno, I reckon they’re bastards.
People that come into bunnings with
“Do I have to turn the mains off to change the tap washers?”
“What tool do I need to put these in?” holding a bag of screws.
“I need to replace a bolt but I lost it and don’t know the size”
“I need only 1 nail/screw”
“How do I use this” (holding drill/grinder/arc welder/drop saw)
Paging Lorday.
be careful, he’s got a viewfinder
Those people that try and sign you up to some sort of Charity in shopping centres. They act all NICE, try and make EYE CONTACT with you and then compliment you on something, anything they can think of to get you to talk to them. How dare they try and engage me, I have to get home and watch the Voice! They are arseholes²
This. There are millions of them in the CBD. What a shit job it must be.
In Sydney they’re mostly pommy or oirish backpackers making a quick buck for that next jug of snakebite/visit to the VD clinic. Arseholes.
Stepped onto the train this morning to be greeted by a THREE WHEEL RECUMBENT taking up most of the carriage. And this was peak hour…arsehole.
People who like to correct me on warranty details. No you are WRONG, and NO you can not have your money back on your $239 POS lawn mower which looks like you’ve stored it in a swamp, used cooking oil for the sump and oiled your airfilter with mud.
Oh, but you’ll buy the next one up and pay the difference? NO, maybe you should have bought the one I reconmended for you 6 months earlier? And for the last time, NO! I’m not going to warrant your lawnmower… and don’t get your whore for a wife to come back tomorrow and try the same thing - Sorry hun, if you offererd me a wristie I’d decline you infested beast.
“Do I really need that?”. YES you do, or haven’t you been listening to me for the 20 minutes? I don’t think $8.70 is too outrageous for that four stroke oil for your new mower. You think you have it at home? Why would you think that you silly twat? - you’ve previously lived in a town house and haven’t owned a petrol mower for years. Yes, you told me that! That’s why I’ve put in a little more effort to make sure you’ve got everything you need. Alright you can always come back and get it but I save you a trip back here… oh wait your going? See you tomorrow - I’ll leave one aside for you.
“Hello, how are you?”… Don’t rate answering my simple question as you walk past? Thanks for making my job better ARSEHOLE. Yes I do care how you are. Oh yeah, and when you proceed to whistle at me like a dog and try and get me to come from half a store away I will pretend not to hear you, and proceed to greet all the other customers, who seem to be polite enough to let me know how they are, sometimes with a smile.
See that cusomter I was with before you interupted, he reckons your an arsehole too.
Are the really people that whistle at staff for assistance!!??! Total arseholes.
staff that don’t come when I whistle. arseholes! 
i reckon staff at bunnings must be the most interrupted staff ever. they always seem to be looking for something when someone else just manhandles them over to what they want help with. that would drive me fucking crazy.
Oh, I’d forgotten about these arseholes. They inhabit the one bottleneck in Crows Nest…“Hi, you look like you like animals, am I right?”
“Yes. Only on bread.”
Yep, also “oi” and the pointing followed by the come here gesture.
The lack of a simple “thank you” after spending a substantial period of time helping them.
When I worked in a retail store, I once had a customer click their fingers at me. I was gobsmacked and had to look around to make sure it was directed at me. It was. They also seemed oblivious to the less-than-impressed expression on my face. Arsehole.
Karate chop to the trachea will usually make them think twice next time.
i think hospitality/retail workers could start a thread as long as this one documenting the many ways in which arseholes can be arseholes.
edit - on that note, i once worked with a hilarious guy in a restaurant in glasgow that didn’t take shit from any of our customers when it came to shit like that.
at christmas, whilst very busy and in the middle of taking another tables order, a lady whistled at big al. al turns around, put his hands in front of him like dog paws, puts his tongue out and starts panting and barking at her. she was totally mortified and had no idea what the fuck he was doing, and when he curtly told her that if she whistled at him like a dog, he would behave like one, she meekly replied saying she wanted more oatcakes for her pate. he told her in no uncertain terms that her behaviour was very rude and that he would get her oatcakes as soon as he’d finished taking the other tables order.
left her completely speechless.
manager and assistant manager had seen the whole thing from the servery out the back and were in hysterics.
big al was a fucking legend.
/coolstorybro
tldr
-Pretend that their time is more important than yours.
Chux’s mate is already sticking this in the memory bank to use at a later date.